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MY       PARALYZINGLY        BELOVED        HIERARCH
 

EVERY         TIME          I          LOOK           AT           YOU
YOUR   ANGELIC   SOUL  SHINES  UNINTERRUPTEDLY
BUT       YOU        STOLE        MY        INFINITE      CELLS
AND    DID    NOTHING     WITH    THEM     ANXIOUSLY
JUST      LET      THEM      BE       EMPTILY       EXQUISITE
DEATHLESS    AND      SILENTLY       MISUNDERSTOOD
YOU  PLAY   HAZARDOUS  DICE   WITH   MY  ABSENCE
NAIVELY  GRIN   BETWEEN  THE   UNKNOWN   GAMES
SUAVELY AFFIRM  YOUR  WORTHIER   PERSONAL LIES

DO                               YOU                             REMEMBER


WHEN       DID       YOU        BECOME       SO       CRUEL 

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HEAVY DREAMS

A SHAMAN CAME TO ME 
DISPLAYING HIS HEALING TOOLS IN FRONT OF ME
MIRRORING THAT IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO ACCEPT MY DESTINY
MAJESTIC FEATHERS SURROUNDED HIM LIKE A HALO…

I WAS LYING DOWN PARALYZED BY THE IMMENSITY OF THE TASK
I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED A DIFFICULTY OF THAT LEVEL OF MASTERY
OVERWHELMED BY THE DETAILS OF SUCH REALITY I DID ACCEPT IT CANDIDLY
I KNEW IT WAS MY TIME AND I RECOGNIZED THE ASSIGNMENT
EACH OF MY CELLS AND ATOMS STARTED TO TURN IN A DIFFERENT WAY
RESOLVING THE ISSUE THAT I WAS PRESENTED WITH SO BLUNTLY
I LEARNT QUICKLY I HAD ALL THE KNOWLEDGE AND TRUST

I WAS LYING DOWN UNABLE TO MOVE BUT KNOWING I COULD DO IT
A TRANCE FEELS LIKE DYING LIKE YOU ARE CONNECTING YOURSELF
WITH ALL THE ELEMENTS AT A FULL DISPOSAL OF A CAUSE
BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
AND BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
YOU ARE THERE TO SERVE AND SO YOU DO UNTIL YOUR PART IS FINISHED
UNTIL ALL YOUR GIFTS AND TALENTS ARE USED BY THOSE WHO NEED IT
TO THE ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM

CRUSHED LIKE AN ANT BY THE GRAVITY OF EXISTENCE

YOU’VE BECOME A GUIDE HE SAID 

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[VERY SIMPLY PUT]

“SHAMANIC ILLNESS” ENDED (AFTER 22 YEARS).

“I” HAVE ONLY HEALED [OTHER PEOPLE AND VARIOUS NONPHYSICAL ENTITIES] FOR FREE AND ALWAYS WILL (THERE WERE A FEW EXEMPTIONS WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH THE “SCHOOLING” AND I ACCEPTED SOME MONEY ONLY BECAUSE I WOULD DIE OF STARVATION OTHERWISE).

THERE WERE MANY FALSE ENDS TO MY PAST JOURNEY AND I’M GLAD TO REPORT THE REAL END IS UNMISTAKABLE.

A SIDE NOTE: PLEASE REMEMBER THAT WITH “HEALERS AND SIMILAR ENTITIES” [BOTH IN PHYSICAL AND NONPHYSICAL EXISTENCE] - IT IS THE SAME AS WITH ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS EXISTENCE. NOT EVERYONE IS FOR EVERYONE, AS ONE DOESN’T RESONATE WITH EVERYTHING IN LIFE [OR NONPHYSICAL EXISTENCE]. WHEN YOU LISTEN TO YOUR SOUL, IT WILL ALWAYS GUIDE YOU ON YOUR TRUE PATH. AND - THAT CAN MEAN ANYTHING, TRULY ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING.

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WHEN ALL YOUR CHAKRAS START EMITTING A RAINBOW LIGHT AND THEN FULLY DISAPPEAR - REJOIN THE WORLD

ENERGY TRANSFORMER. TRANSPARENT SEER. INVISIBLE LUMINARY.
SHE FORGOT SHE AIMED TO BE BORN DIVERGENT THIS TIME. SHE TRIED HUMAN LIFE BEFORE… SHE TRIED MYRIADS OF WAYS OF LIVING. SHE “HAD TO”… 

FOR THE MOST PART, IT FELT REALLY STRANGE, SAD, AND AGGRESSIVE. ALSO, VERY HEAVY. BUT SHE DISCOVERED THERE IS INFINITE BEAUTY AND JOY IN THE WORLD TOO. AND PEACE. SOFT AND SILENT PEACE. SUCH INTERESTING AND INTENSE REALITY CONSTRUCTS THAT APPEAR AND FEEL SO REAL…

SHE COULDN’T REALLY MIX WITH PEOPLE MUCH AND WAS SPENDING HER TIME ON EARTH MORE LESS IN SOLITUDE, BUT SHE FOUND EVERYONE SO BEAUTIFUL. NO MATTER WHO THEY WERE AND HOW THEY CHOSE TO LIVE HERE ON EARTH. EACH HUMAN HAD CHOSEN THEIR EXPERIENCE BEFOREHAND AND THAT’S HOW IT GOES.

SHE KNOWS SHE MUST STAY… BUT MUST SHE REALLY? IS THERE MORE TO DO? AND FOR HOW MUCH LONGER?

“IS THERE ANYTHING LIKE AN INTERGALACTIC RESTLESSNESS”, SHE WONDERED, “OR AM I FALLING INTO HUMANNESS AGAIN…?”

SHE SMILED. 

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CELIBATE TATTOOS

INFUSED MY MYSTICAL BODY
WITH PERMANENT BLISS
FULL OF INTIMATE WISDOM
CREATIVE FREEDOM

AND

REAL LOVE 

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WRONG SOULS

NAVIGATED (GENTLY)
MY SOUL TOWARDS THEIR DESTINY
I SCREAMED AND CRIED LYING ON THE FLOOR
WHILE THEY GREW IN SATISFACTION AND RENUNCIATION

BALANCED DENIAL IS STILL CELEBRATED THOUGH 

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I LOVE

HOW UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU FLY WITH YOUR ANCESTORS

JUMP THROUGH FEATHERY SHINING CLOUDS OF INFINITE FUN

SOFT WARM SUMMER AIR CARRIES YOU ALL AROUND THE WORLD

TOWARDS SPECIAL ADVENTURES ALREADY SINGING IN YOUR OPEN HEART

YOU ARE AWARE THAT YOU GIVE A MEANING TO LIFE

THAT EVEN THE SHADOW PARTS OF YOURSELF ARE SACRED

YOUR SKIN SUBTLY GLITTERS AS A FRESHLY WATERED ABUNDANT SOIL

YOUR EVERY BREATH IS BRIMMING WITH ANSWERS TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS

YOU KEEP FLOATING ON YOUR FAVOURITE AIRSTREAM

CONTENT YOU SMILE 

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SHE TRANSCENDED GRACE, STRENGTH, AND FREEDOM

SHE SAT STILL. WITH NO ACTIVE MEMORIES. SOFT EXISTENCE. 

…HOW ANGRY AND RESISTANT SHE USED TO BE TO THE TASK SHE SUPPOSEDLY SET TO ACCOMPLISH. UNTIL SHE HAD TO BECOME ONE WITH IT. IT TOOK YEARS AND YEARS TO EXCHANGE AND CLEANSE EVERY SINGLE CELL IN HER BODY TO BE ABLE TO REINCARNATE AND NOT TO DIE. THE TRAINING SHE UNDERWENT WAS INSANELY DIFFICULT AND HARD-WON. BULLIED TO OBLIVION, SHE NEUTRALISED EVERY SINGLE DEATH-WISH IN EXISTENCE. SHE ALCHEMISED STRANGERS’ DREAMS INTO GOLD WHILE DISSOLVING HER OWN SUBSTANCE. SHE BEGGED FOR HER LIFE. NOW FREE FROM THE WORLD’S HYSTERIA, SHE RECUPERATES. PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE COMPLETELY ERASED.  

HER DREAM WAS NEVER A DREAM.

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INEXPLICABLE COLOURS

OF GLOBAL HEART

YOU STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN

ABOUT   COLLECTIVE   CONNECTIVITY

TRUE LOVE

DOESN’T BLOCK ANYONE’S GENIUS 

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EXPLODING WITH ANGER

SILENTLY   STORMING    FIRE    WITHIN    MY    BELOVED   GROUNDS

BEING  A   PART  OF  A   WHOLE   YET  NOT   BEING   FELT   ONE   BIT

POURING MY HEART HEALING WATERS INTO AN INVISIBLE DARING

THAT  IS   SLITTING   MY  WRISTS   WHILE  KISSING   MY   FOREHEAD

ALTERED EXORCISED  LULLABIES  DREAM ABOUT  ME  EACH NIGHT

COUNT  MY  INFINITE  DAYS AND  ERECT A RED FLAG  WHEN  DONE

KILL ME  HOW MANY TIMES YOU  WANT   SADLY   I WILL NEVER DIE

I’VE COME TO REARRANGE  THE OLDEST MOST SACRED MOUNTAIN

SUBLIMINAL FORTUNE IS TELLING ME TO GET CLOSER TO THE END

EVERYTHING   ALWAYS BEGINS  WITH AN UNDERSTATED THUNDER

MY HEALING WATERS   ARE BOILING NOW   IT IS TIME  TO SIMPLIFY

WHILE  ABSURD  ATTACKS  FLAUNT  AROUND MY SENSES   IN  VAIN  

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“MAYBE IT HAPPENS TO YOU SOMETIMES THAT YOU CRY UNCONTROLLABLY AFTER SINGING IN A CHURCH...”

SHE ASKED ME WITH A SPECIAL CERTAINTY IN HER VOICE. NOBODY ASKED ME THAT EVER BEFORE. “YES.” I REPLIED. SHE CONTINUED: “YOU WERE A NUN. YOU SANG IN CHURCHES IN LONDON. YOU GAVE PROMISES - OF CELIBACY AND SCARCITY. ONE OF THEM FOR LIFETIMES COMING, ONE OF THEM FOR ETERNITY... YOU WERE RAPED AND YOU DIED DURING THAT EXPERIENCE IN THAT LIFE. NOW, YOU RETURNED TO HEAL THE WOUNDS OF YOUR SOUL, TO LET GO OF THOSE PROMISES AND TO LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN AND LOVE.” 

I AM LATE IN MY PALMS
FAILED CONTEMPLATING
UNNAMED UNDEFINED
JOKES AND A LIPSTICK
I AM LATE IN MY PALMS
APPEARED DISAPPEARING
UNFALLEN UNRESCUED
A MYSTIC WORKING HARD

THIS POEM CAME TO ME A FEW MONTHS BEFORE I GOT THE INFORMATION, BEFORE I TOOK THOSE INTERNAL STEPS I COULDN’T HAVE NEVER IMAGINED TAKING. MAKING PEACE WITH SOME OF MY PAST. PAST LIVES. PAST PROMISES. UNKNOWN IMPRISONMENT. BUT HOW TO TRUST SOMETHING SO INVISIBLE, SO ABSTRACT... 

(AS I MENTIONED SOME TIME AGO, I COULDN’T SING OR DO MUSIC - OR ANYTHING BUT ROAM THE WORLD, CONSTRAINED BY THIS INVISIBLE PAIN... WELL, THE PAIN IS GONE. GONE. ONLY NOW I REALISE IT WAS WITH ME MY WHOLE LIFE. SO, I AM LEARNING ABOUT LIFE WITHOUT PAIN. SO MANY INFLUENCES ARE BEYOND OUR PHYSICALITY, YET THEY ARE UNDENIABLY PRESENT AND AFFECTING OUR CURRENT BEING.

I SURRENDERED. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY. I SURRENDERED TO MYSELF. THE REAL SELF I SLOWLY LEARNT TO COMPLETELY IGNORE, A DECISION THAT WAS KILLING MY ENTIRE BEING... I WOULD STILL BE “LATE IN MY PALMS... UNNAMED, UNDEFINED, UNRESCUED... A MYSTIC WORKING HARD...)